I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
