Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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