Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
