It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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