it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
