Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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