We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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