It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
