you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
lets start a swedish sibling band together
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
