Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
