i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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