Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
