thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize