Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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