Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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