The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize
