Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
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