The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize