It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
