i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
