i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize
