Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
