Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
You are a genius and a whore.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
