the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
