i just had sex bonerless
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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