Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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