I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
