Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
organizing the empties. That sober.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Randomize
