I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
