what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
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I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
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Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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