is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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