bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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