Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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