Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
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Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
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Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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