Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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