she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Randomize
