He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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