i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
