Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
