Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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