Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
