i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
