he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
