When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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