What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
