If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
