So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
