so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
