Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
