I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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