Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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