talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
