the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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