So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
