She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
