Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
