the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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