Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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