eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
