her vagine was all disorganized.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
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