you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize