WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
