Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Randomize