great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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