I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
