Umm I'm too high to move.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
